I'm a feather on the wind.

Posted by Hoban "Wash" Washburne

I drive an old pickup truck with gauges that work when they want to or not at all. It squeaks and yelps as it goes over bumps. It rumbles when it is taken out of gear and roars when turned on. I refer to my truck as a she. She is a very finicky truck and I love her to death.

And sometimes, when I am driving her around, I feel like a pilot in a movie.

I say this because tonight reminded me of exactly that feeling. Let's start from when my brother and I head off to the store at around 11pm.

As we are leaving the shady liquor store some fellas try to get us to buy any drug we can think of. My brother, naturally, tries to shake a good deal out of them as a joke while I get the car running. Except that she won't start. Here's what was happening in my head:

Click click click--silence.
"Dammit, I knew that damn starter was trouble. Shoulda gone for the name brand."
Click-----
"Come on honey. I'm sorry, but I just need to you start now so I'm not stuck with some angry drug dealers and you are stolen from me and taken apart."
Click click ROAR.
"Thank you thank you thank you!"
Look at each other:
"We barely got out of that one!" (cheesy I know)

Off to the next store but this time I say I will be staying inside to keep the truck running. My brother takes longer than usual at this other shady liquor store. As the rain begins to come down like in that scene in Jurassic Park I notice the Oil Pressure Gauge is alarmingly low and the Engine Temperature Gauge is alarmingly high. Shit. Now what?

"Keep her running! We can't risk her not starting back up again here!" (yes, now it's 'we')
"She can't run much hotter! Especially with the Oil Pressure so low!"
"Wait, maybe at idle the fan isn't kicking in and we already know that the pressure drops when at idle... What if we get her running to get some air flow, the fan going, and oil cycling?"
"Yes! Make it so! (shut up)"
"We can't leave him in there!"
"Go without him!"

Suddenly, perfectly on cue, out comes my brother running through the rain into the truck and off we go. As we speed into traffic the Oil Pressure raises into the green and the Engine Temp backs off as the fan kicks in... Narrow escape.

To sum up: I glamorize my boring life by comparing the mechanical failures in my aging pickup to exciting Hollywood action scenes.

You know you do it too...