How Long Can You Go Without?

Posted by Carlos Argentino Daneri.

I was chatting with a close friend of mine, and among the many subjects that came up, she told me that the longest she had gone without sex (neglecting preadolescence) was three weeks. She went on to say that those three weeks were like torture to her.

Obviously, this woman likes having sex, and good for her. But three weeks? That's her record? Is three weeks even long enough to get over the person you last broke up with? (I'm not saying, in that last sentence, that every sexual partner she's ever had was one with whom she was in a committed relationship, because that would be foolish to say.) It made me wonder how many people she had sex with that she didn't even like; she just wanted to have sex. Knowing her, I would wager that it isn't many, since she considers sex a way to become closer with your partner. Even so, I don't think sex should be that essential to anyone, especially if your irreligious enough to consider masturbation as an option.

She acknowledges that her strong desire to have sex has gotten her into trouble before, and I can see how it would. Call me old fashioned when I say that sex should only be with someone you love, or at least like, but if you're going crazy in three weeks without intercourse, your desperation shows that you're probably going to take the first opportunity without consideration.

Immanuel Kant wrote about utilitarian behavior towards your fellow human being. He wrote that it is wrong to use a person strictly for their utility, as you might do with an inanimate tool. The relation that I'm postulating here is that this woman might have once been in the habit of considering a sexual partner only for his body parts, and that it bears consideration to be called immoral.